Thursday, February 20, 2014

Meatloaf

Lucy: What is meatloaf?
Me: Well, it depends. It is either a loaf of meat that you eat for dinner, or it is a man who sings "And I would do anything for love."
Lucy: Oh. I thought that was Jesus.
Meatloaf.  Jesus.  What's the difference?

Monday, February 17, 2014

Get real Mom ...

Lucy: Can I have the Disney Pampered Princess Pets?
Me:  We'll see.  Maybe it'll be a special present your sister brings you from heaven.
Lucy:  How will THAT fit in the uterus?

Friday, February 7, 2014

Get your priorities straight

Lucy: Can we eat out at a restaurant tonight?
Me: No, honey, sorry.  We're going to eat at home today.  We're trying to save money for some nice curtains.  Won't that be nice?
Lucy: I don't know, mommy.  You can't eat curtains.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

To the ends of the earth ...

Lucy: "Kids don't know a lot of things.  Like, I still don't know where the golf ball goes on the last hole of putt putt."
Yes, these are the pressing questions of humanity.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Good question

Doctor:  Well, everything looks good.  The baby is healthy, all of it's parts are there, and you're right on track.  Do you have any questions?
Lucy:  Yeah.  I do!  How come the vagina is so small and the baby is so big?  How does it get out?
Doctor (stunned): That's the best question I've ever heard from a kid. 

Caleb was disappointed because the doctor didn't actually answer the question.  He just laughed.  I wonder how the doctor would have reacted if I had asked the same question.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Three categories

Lucy: "I only like cute things, fancy things and cool things."
Me: "Oh yeah?  What are cute things?"
Lucy: "Oh, you know - puppies, kitties, babies, fairies, things like that."
Me: "And what are fancy things?"
Lucy:  "Pink and purple things.  Things from Paris. Princesses. Dresses."
Me: "And what are cool things?"
Lucy:  "Rockets, microscopes, robots, and outer space."

The girl has her priorities.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Color Spectrum

Lucy saw her first rainbow yesterday.
Lucy: "I don't see any indigo in that rainbow."
Me: "Well, maybe this rainbow doesn't have indigo."
Lucy:  "But the song from Cat in the Hat goes, red, orange, yellow, then green followed by blue, INDIGO and violet, that's the rainbow song for you.  Not, red, orange, yellow then green followed by PURPLE."

Really?  Whose idea was it to include indigo in the color spectrum?  Have they defended their position to a 4-year-old?  Because I'd like to be a witness to that conversation.