Not cute

Old Lady at the mall:  Well, hello.  Aren't you cute!
Lucy: No, I not cute.  I just fine!

Naked Book

Lucy: What's this?
Me: A book jacket.
Lucy: I took it off. Now the book is naked.

Robot Maid

Lucy: "I want to be a robot when I grow up."
Me: "Oh really?  What kind of robot?"
Lucy: "One that makes beds."

In the middle of the children's sermon on Sunday, Shawn Gerber elaborated on the parable of the speck and the plank in the eye.  Lucy concluded it by standing up and screaming, "Squirrels!"

Nothing says "Happy Birthday!" like a Band-Aid

Anyone who follows me on Pinterest knows I'm semi-obsessed with planning themed birthday parties. It seems Lucy has inherited this. In the last month she has requested a flamingo themed birthday, a robot themed birthday, and – my personal favorite - a bandage themed birthday.

Little Red Hen Girl

This morning we made cookies. Lucy began licking the beaters while they were resting in between mixing the flour into the butter and sugar.
Me: "Don't lick the beaters yet, we still need them."
Lucy: "But I'm only trying to help, like the Little Red Hen."
Me: "Oh I see. And who will help me lick the beaters?"
Lucy: "I WILL!"

Will-ful

Lucy: "I need to go roller skating."
Me: "You don't need to go roller skating, you want to go roller skating."
Lucy: "No, I need to go roller skating."
Me: "No, needs are things you need to stay healthy and alive like sleep and food and shelter and protection. You don't need to roller skate."
Lucy thinks about it for a while.
Lucy: "I WILL go roller skating."

Kindly wait to kill babies

Lucy: "What does that sign say?"
Me: "What do you think it says?"
Lucy: "Don't kill babies."
Me: "Close. It says, 'kindly wait to be seated.'"

Bothering my toast

Lucy: "Daddy, stop hurting my toast!"
Caleb: "Lucy, I need to use a knife to cut it. See, now I'm buttering it."
Lucy: "No! Stop it! Stop bothering it!"

Dick's the Pick

I have an update on Lucy's "DICK!" comment from yesterday.  I really couldn't figure out where she had learned that word, until this morning I realized that yesterday we were driving through our neighborhood and saw a political sign for a guy running for our local neighborhood HOA that said, "Dick's the Pick!" Lucy asked me what the sign said and I read it out loud to her and laughed. She must have caught from our brief conversation that the word "Dick" is funny.

Worst political campaign slogan ever. 

Restaurant Proclamations Part II

Without any forewarning or context, Lucy screamed "DICK!" today when we were eating out at a local restaurant. It happens to be the same restaurant that just a few months ago she announced, "My daddy threw up in the woods!" We've only been to the restaurant twice. I have a feeling we won't be welcomed back.

In other news, Lucy has yet to learn that announcing "I'm asleep!" into the baby monitor isn't fooling anyone.