Money maker

For the second time in her life a total stranger came up and gave Lucy $2 just for being cute. Does this happen to other people's children?

Love has many forms ...

Lucy: When I grow up I want to marry Annie.
Me: Well, you can't really do that.
Lucy: Why not?  You said girls can marry girls now if they're in love.
Me:  That's true, but you can't marry your sister.  That's called incest.
Lucy:  No, you said incest is when people in the same family have a baby.  We can't have babies!  We're two girls!  I want to marry Annie!  I love her!

Not sure where to go with this one ...

Baby it's cold outside

Listening to our local Christmas radio station in the car, we made it until about 20 second from the end of "Baby it's Cold Outside" when suddenly Lucy bursts out, "What's this about? The haven't even said Christmas or Jesus or anything."  How very astute of you, Lucy.  I suppose 5-years-old is too young to use this as a teaching moment for consent.

Introverts & Antonyms

Lucy got lost in Target yesterday.  After a frantic five minutes of me calling out her name, a Target sales associate starts walking up to me, holding Lucy's hand.
Me:  "Lucy?  Where have you been?  I was worried."
Lucy: "Don't worry mom, I found an employee and told her about all my latest dentist visit."
Introvert is the antonym of Lucy.

Love makes the world go 'round

Lucy: I love you more than daddy loves you.
Me:  That's impossible.  I love daddy so much that we made you.
Lucy: No.  Your love didn't make me.  A sperm made me.  What I still have to figure out is how that sperm got inside you.

Oh you sweet little know-it-all, that lesson is for another day.

Morale is down with the troops

Caleb: Here, try this lozenge, it might help your throat feel better.
Lucy: What does it taste like?
Caleb: Sadness.
Lucy: Aw, shucks!

You know, just an average day in the Sancken household, demoralizing our 5-year-old.

Listen Up

Lucy: Why do I have to listen to directions?
Me: Because when you get to kindergarten it's going to be really important to follow directions.  There will be lots of kids and the teacher won't be able to repeat things over and over.  She's just going to say, "okay, time to go outside" and then everyone goes outside.  If you don't listen the first time you'll be all alone in the classroom while everyone else goes outside to play.
Lucy:  (after a few minutes of silence) I'm going to get left behind a lot, huh?

She's a keeper

Lucy: Why am I so skinny?
Me: Well, it's not a bad thing.  Lots of women like to be called skinny.
Lucy: Mom, you're pretty skinny too.
Me:  Really?  Why do you say that?
Lucy: Because you have been working out really hard.

I think I'll keep her.

Being a Mommy

Lucy said, "I know what I want to be when I grow up--a Mommy because it's the best. But it's so, so hard because kids whine so much!"

Scare Mommies Club

Lucy:  I've created a new club, called the Scare Mommies Club.
Me: Oh, yeah?  Is that for Halloween?
Lucy:  Yes.
Me: What do you do in your club?
Lucy: We take watering cans and pour water on rugs. And hide our toothbrushes.

Indeed, she knows how to strike fear into the heart of every mom.

Captain Bread Hook

Puce

Lucy:  That color looks like Annie poop.
It was an accurate description.

Future Nurse of America

Me: Why are there pieces of masking tape on Annie's head?
Lucy: Because I am playing nurse and those are bandaids.

Not pictured: very nearly testing Annie's reflexes with a real hammer.

This is why I am afraid to go to the bathroom. 

Negligent Parents

Me: So, daddy and I are thinking of taking a trip by ourselves next summer while you stay with grandma and grandpa for a week. What do you think of that?
Lucy: Do you know you have two kids?

It's a nice day for a White Wedding

Lucy is making Caleb play wedding. He is the groom. Annie is the bridesmaid. This lead to watching our wedding video, during which Lucy declared that we don't know how to dance.

Helicopter Parent

Lucy: "Mom, when I'm an astronaut, you'll have to come with me to the moon, just to make sure when I'm jumping up and bouncing around and stuff that an asteroid or something doesn't hit me."

This gives an entirely new meaning to the phrase 'helicopter parent.'

Mod Dinner Time

Me: Lucy, please focus on finishing your dinner.  I'm sitting here waiting for you, because I finished mine a long time ago.
Lucy:  How long ago?  Like the 1960's?

Doomed

Lucy: If we ever have another baby, you can't let it out of your uterus.
Me: It doesn't work that way. All babies have to come out sometime.
Lucy: But if it comes out we will all be doomed! Three kids is too much work!

Vampire baby

Me: Annie, that is your hand. There is no breast milk in your hand.
Lucy: There's just blood! And you can't eat that unless you are a vampire. Oh! Are you a vampire baby?!

Dinosaurs & little sisters

Lucy: "Mom?"
Me: "Yes?"
Lucy: "I wish I could see a dinosaur someday."
Me: "Yeah, me too. That would be cool."
Lucy: "But if we ever see an Oviraptor or Tyrannosaurus Rex, we'd have to protect Annie because she's the smallest and the chubbiest and they'd want to eat her first."

Good to see she's already looking out for her sister.

Hiatus

Sorry to friends and family for the recent hiatus from updating the blog. We have a good reason! Annabel "Annie" Victoria was born on June 1. Here she is!

We've kept busy adjusting to life with two kids. Lucy is adjusting as well as a child who was the center of her family's attention for 4.5 years can. She loves her little sister, but is mad at her parents (sometimes I feel like she's just mad at me, her mother).

Upon arriving at the hospital to meet her sister, here's the conversation we had.
Me: This is your little sister, Annabel. But we'll call her Annie.
Lucy: Like Little Orphan Annie?
Me: Yes, except this Annie has parents. We're her parents.

 And so the sibling rivalry begins.

(Photos courtesy of Freckled Cat Photography)

Sweet sister

Just when I think I'm at my wit's end, she goes and does something sweet like this.


Words:
Go to sleep little girl
It's so wonderful we're having a new little girl
but the bad news is ... but the good news is ...
when you're older you can do fun things like me
little girl go to sleep
this is the goodest way to hear this
I love you

Please let baby #2 be calmer

Today is one of those days where I'm really questioning why I thought it was a good idea to have a second child.  No, you cannot put your toes in your mouth after being outside barefoot in the garden.  No, you cannot put a worm on your plate during the church ladies' tea.  No, you cannot "go up [my] butt hole and join the baby in my uterus so [you] can be twins."  I'm too pregnant for these shenanigans.

4-year-old Priorities

Lucy asked me to transcribe a dictated letter to grandpa today.  Here's how it went:  "Dear Grandpa, I love you, but I'm also really glad you have a pool."

Nothin' but love?

Me: Well, my back hurts. I'm going to go take a bath.
Lucy: You can't! Your huge belly will overflow the tub!

Thanks for the positive body image messages babe.

Living scab

While at a fancy restaurant yesterday celebrating my graduation, Lucy decided to lift her dress and show the world her undies and belly.  Because, why not?  But there was a strange black dot on her belly button.

Me: Lucy, what's that on your belly button?
My mom: Let me see.  It's just a scab, she's fine.
My sister: Yeah, it's just a scab.
(several hours later)
Lucy:  If it's just a scab, then why does it have legs?

Nope, not a scab.  Definitely a tick.

Pathological?

Lucy: "I love telling lies to people.  And my nose doesn't even grow."
Pinocchio, you've created a monster.

Never Never Land

While at Target ...
Me: Okay, we still need security envelopes, trash bags and bandaids.
Lucy: Aww, none of those are fun things.
Me: Sorry hunny, but sometimes adults have to buy boring things.
Lucy: That's exactly why I never want to grow up. I only want to buy fun things for the rest of my life.

Your OTHER ankle

Lucy: You know what I call this? (Points to her hip)
Me: What? Your hip?
Lucy: No, my butt ankle. Because it helps your leg like your ankle helps your foot, but it's close to my butt.

Seems like a given

Things you never thought you'd say until you become a parent: "Please don't put your naked butt cheeks on the dishwasher."

The gig is up

Me: Lucy, that was really cute.  Can I put it on facebook?
Lucy: No.  It's just my secret.
Me:  Can I at least put it on the website so Gram in Illinois can see it?
Lucy:  No.  Gram can come over for a play date if she wants to see me.

Uh oh.  It seems someone has found out how much I exploit her cuteness.

Post-Concussion Blues

Lucy sustained a pretty bad concussion on Thursday.  She hit her head on my parent's driveway, and we ended up in the ER after she vomited about 10 times, fell asleep and started shivering.  It was a scary morning.  Luckily, the CT scan showed no permanent damage, so now we are just playing a waiting game until we follow up with her pediatrician on Tuesday.

Attempting to entertain Lucy post-concussion has resulted in some interesting "games." (To reduce brain stimulation, she's not allowed to watch TV. To reduce the chance of another head hit, she can't play outside.) This afternoon her game of choice is, "Let's pretend we're mamas who just had a baby, but we're not back in shape yet." Apparently this game includes peeing in a cup.

Good Ship Lollipop

Caleb: Did you learn all of the words to the "Good Ship Lollipop"?
Lucy: Ummm ... yeah!  Because it's about candy!
Sugar - the great motivator.

Meatloaf

Lucy: What is meatloaf?
Me: Well, it depends. It is either a loaf of meat that you eat for dinner, or it is a man who sings "And I would do anything for love."
Lucy: Oh. I thought that was Jesus.
Meatloaf.  Jesus.  What's the difference?

Get real Mom ...

Lucy: Can I have the Disney Pampered Princess Pets?
Me:  We'll see.  Maybe it'll be a special present your sister brings you from heaven.
Lucy:  How will THAT fit in the uterus?

Get your priorities straight

Lucy: Can we eat out at a restaurant tonight?
Me: No, honey, sorry.  We're going to eat at home today.  We're trying to save money for some nice curtains.  Won't that be nice?
Lucy: I don't know, mommy.  You can't eat curtains.

To the ends of the earth ...

Lucy: "Kids don't know a lot of things.  Like, I still don't know where the golf ball goes on the last hole of putt putt."
Yes, these are the pressing questions of humanity.

Good question

Doctor:  Well, everything looks good.  The baby is healthy, all of it's parts are there, and you're right on track.  Do you have any questions?
Lucy:  Yeah.  I do!  How come the vagina is so small and the baby is so big?  How does it get out?
Doctor (stunned): That's the best question I've ever heard from a kid. 

Caleb was disappointed because the doctor didn't actually answer the question.  He just laughed.  I wonder how the doctor would have reacted if I had asked the same question.

Three categories

Lucy: "I only like cute things, fancy things and cool things."
Me: "Oh yeah?  What are cute things?"
Lucy: "Oh, you know - puppies, kitties, babies, fairies, things like that."
Me: "And what are fancy things?"
Lucy:  "Pink and purple things.  Things from Paris. Princesses. Dresses."
Me: "And what are cool things?"
Lucy:  "Rockets, microscopes, robots, and outer space."

The girl has her priorities.

Color Spectrum

Lucy saw her first rainbow yesterday.
Lucy: "I don't see any indigo in that rainbow."
Me: "Well, maybe this rainbow doesn't have indigo."
Lucy:  "But the song from Cat in the Hat goes, red, orange, yellow, then green followed by blue, INDIGO and violet, that's the rainbow song for you.  Not, red, orange, yellow then green followed by PURPLE."

Really?  Whose idea was it to include indigo in the color spectrum?  Have they defended their position to a 4-year-old?  Because I'd like to be a witness to that conversation.

Why are you crying?

Lucy:  "Why are you crying?"
Me: "Because I'm listening to this song and it's about a man dancing with his daughter at her wedding.  They're happy tears."
Lucy:  "Does my face show that I'm puzzled?  Because I'm puzzled.  I still don't know why you're crying."
Sometimes I think I gave birth to Spock.

Messy is as messy does

Lucy: "This house is not fancy.  This house is a messy place."
Well, babe.  I hate to break it to you - but whose fault is that?