G.I. Joe vs. Barracudas

We were sitting next to a soldier in uniform when someone came up and thanked him for his service and called him a hero.
Lucy: "Why did he call him a hero?"
Me: "Because he does very brave things to keep our country safe from scary things."
Lucy: "Like barracudas?"
Life must be pretty sweet when the scariest thing in your life is the opening scene of "Finding Nemo."

Hit the fan ...

While in a public bathroom ...
Lucy: What's that smell?
Caleb: Someone is pooping, but we try not to talk about poop and pee in public.
Lucy: Well, someone needs to turn on a fan.

Onion bracelet

Caleb: "Lucy, do you want this onion ring?"
Lucy: "That's not a ring!  Rings are little!  That's an onion bracelet."