Two funny things

While at the park, Lucy is hanging from the first rung in the monkey bars.
Boy: That's not how you do it.
Lucy: It's how I do it!
Boy: You have to go all the way across.
Lucy: I'm not a professional monkey bar climber, okay? I just like to hang here!

Lucy gets a chewable vitamin C tablet and a glass of water from my chiropractor if she makes it through one of my appointments without destroying their potted plants. On the way out the door she turns and says to the chiropractor, with a sweet smile on her face, "Yum! Nothing better than vitamin C and a tall, cool glass of water!" Everyone in the chiropractor's office is visibly touched. In the elevator on the way back down to the parking lot she says to me, without a hint of irony and with a mouthful of mushy vitamin C, "actually, a trip to the beach and an icecream cone would be better."

Cloudy with a chance of pee pee

Lucy: "Rain is like cloud pee pee."
I will never look at rainy days the same way.

Animal Trainer

Lucy: "Mom, I'm a really good animal trainer."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Lucy: "Yeah. Look."
I turn around to see the kitchen counter covered in cat food.
Lucy: "I trained Lena to eat this cat food and she's doing it!"
Miraculous.

Frozen

I accidentally left Annie's diaper bag in the car overnight.  When she had a blow out poop at the chiropractor and I went to get the wipes, they were frozen solid.
Me:  Oh no!  How did this happen?
Lucy:  Queen Elsa.  She loves to freeze things.  That's why she has a movie called Frozen.

Somebody contact Bob Dylan

Me: How many roads must a man walk down, before he is called a man?
Lucy: 5.

Apparently the answer blew in the wind straight to her ear.

Pop Quiz

Lucy: Mom, what's your favorite sauropod?
Me:  Uhhh ... brachiosaurus?
Lucy: Me too, but I also like Argentinasaurus.

Phew!  That was one of the most stressful pop quizzes I've had in over a decade!

High Ambitions

Lucy: I want to be a hairdresser for the circus when I grow up.

It's the "for the circus" part that I'm a little worried about.